(Thank you, Tim @content_for_humans on Instagram for editing this!)
My heart is open, and I am writing it all down for you.
What a year it has been!
What I hoped would be the best year of my life started out as possibly the worst and I have fought to salvage it and enjoy the remainder of it. It has been a year of great loss and heartbreak—so intense I went back to therapy, which helped me immensely!
The hard times pushed me to share more of myself with others. By seeking help and sharing how I really felt, many reached out to me to make sure I was okay or to give me encouragement to keep going. Even complete strangers reached out to me and thanked me for showing them it is worth it to share your feelings and seek out help when you need it.
This newsletter is dedicated to all of us who have lost something this year.
Yes, we have lost parts of ourselves and loved ones we miss so much, but we have also gained much more. We have become resilient and wiser. If the scales don’t tip in your favor yet, hang on to what the new year will bring. Brighter days are ahead, and I’ll be with you every step of the way.
I think back on who I have lost this year and it hurts, it really hurts. I think of all my friends who have lost a loved one, a pet, a relationship, a job, and it hurts. I wish I could take it all away. I wish I could hug you and hold your hand. Sit with you until you feel better. Writing my newsletters and poems is my way to doing that with all of you. And if you need a little more, my email and DMs are always open.
As I get older, I am learning how to take these hard moments and work through them to see what’s meant to be learned. I work through them and turn the hurt into something to inspire others, whether it’s a blog post or a poem. Justus made me realized I try to find the beauty in everything so I will keep doing that in his honor. So, here is to the opportunities that didn’t work out and here is to the opportunities that turned out to be even better than I expected.
When Justus died, I was the lowest I’d been in a long time. It was frighteningly low. When I felt like myself again, I decided to change my life. I went back to school and now I’m one-fourth of the way finished with my master’s degree in Nursing Informatics. I also decided to go back to work as a nurse, but in a completely different city where which I didn’t know anyone. I love working at my job for the most part and I have met some of the most amazing nurses and patients. I am so grateful for saying yes to these opportunities I have been given. Life really does open more doors when you find yourself against a closed door.
It is okay to feel weak and to seek out help.
It is not okay to struggle and feel alone. So many of you have taught me I am enough as I am. I do not have to live an exciting life. I do not have to be the prettiest or the wittiest. I do not have to show up every day for anyone except myself.
You are enough as you are.
You are worthy of life, of love, of happiness, of kindness. There is always the possibility of being kinder, but only when your cup is full. Fill your cup first before helping others, otherwise it won’t be your best effort.
Bad things will happen, but do not interpret them as a punishment for you. View them as an opportunity to grow and open new doors.
Even if I don’t check in that often, I am always rooting for you! I pray every day that God helps you achieve your goals and dreams.
You are not alone.
I am always wishing the best for you and if there is anything you take from this post, please know that you are not alone and you are enough as you are.
Happy holidays to all of you, my friends!
I am so thankful you are in my life. You are a blessing to me, and I will try not to take you for granted. Please leave me a comment and tell me your December plans. God bless you and keep you into the new year!
With love and gratitude,
Michelle
Michelle, I am so proud of you and so impressed with all you have achieved this year. I have seen you grow so much, in strength, confidence, honesty, wisdom and in faith. It has been my sincere honour to become your friend, and I thank you for being beside me when I have needed you. With regards to cups being full, my cup is intentionally not kept full, this is so I have to keep being kind, helpful, honest, caring and loving which are some of the the things which help fill my cup, this of course means that my cup is always being topped up 😊😊. God bless you sweetie ❤️ I will always be your friend and always with you. And remember, strawberries 🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓👍👍🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Thanks so much for sharing your life with us!!! You definitely took some amazing life’s lessons out of tragedies! We are also rooting for you!!!